Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I ♥ My Mama...My Aging, Senile Mama

My mama turned 50 today, which is apparently when the rest of the world decides you are old.  Here’s proof:

This literally came today in the mail.  I'm too lazy to rotate it, but you get the point.

But she is anything but old.  She’s probably the hippest cat I know, way hipper than I could ever pretend to be.  Thinking back over our mother-daughter relationship, I remember all the things that every girl should remember:
    • the time I used her lipstick to cover my entire body in a fuchsia that was not even appropriate in the 80s, 
    • the time I won the socks vs. tights debate on my first day of kindergarten,
    • the time she bought me a training bra after I told her I had breast cancer in first grade,
    • the countless hours she spent making me look like one of those Toddlers and Tiaras girls for dance competitions,
    • the time I shared Tupac’s “Dear Mama” with her; those lines...And even as a crack fiend, mama/ You always was a black queen, mama...really spoke to both of our hearts.
Anyway, enough nostalgia.  I thought since I embarrassed her in 8 Reasons I'm a Better Mom Than My Mom, I should make up for it with a post about why I think she is the most fantastic person I know.  Here are a few reasons I think she is super great:
She's been pretty for a long time.
She went through this to make my life possible.  I don't remember, but I've heard it was hard work getting me here.  I have never appreciated her more than after I spent three hours pushing my first born into the world.
Can't you see how much I loved her already?
She taught me that real ladies appreciate a nice dress AND comfy socks.
She taught me to always look at my children like they are the best thing that ever happened.  Because they are.
This actually brings back bad memories of when I found out she donated this horse to Goodwill.  I never forgave her.  We should move on.
She taught me not to take myself too seriously.
She loves me.

She taught me to sing.  That's kind of a big deal because I know a lot of people who can't sing at all.  And I can.  Because of her.
She helped me start my career as a Coppertone model.

She taught me to never let someone else's fences be barriers to what I want.  I mean, in the case of fences around elephants, I respect their space, but you know, metaphorical fences.

She gives great piggyback rides.  
She taught me how to ride a horse, and better yet, she taught me how to hold on tight when the horse starts bucking.
She taught me to love people even in their blue eyeshadow and Cosby sweater moments.
Still loving her.  A lot.
She taught me to eat healthy food.
She taught me to do my homework before playing video games.  Especially Tetris because you know how addicting it can be.

I don't know what this is, but it's funny.
She taught me to keep my priorities straight.
She taught me that it's funny to take pictures where everyone looks sideways.

We loved each other through bad dresses.  WTH?
We loved each other when we died and turned into ghosts.
She loved me when I came home from Africa 23 pounds heavier and unable to fit in my wedding dress.
And we loved each other when we both lost weight to look as good as it gets for my wedding.
The only thing she's better at than being a mom is being a grandma.  She's a really damn good grandma.
Happy birthday, Mom.  You are the best mom I've ever had.


  1. This is such a sweet post! Awesome job.
    I hope my daughters feel this way about me someday :)

  2. Yay! Happy birthday, Nancy! There's something about being named Nancy that makes you an especially good mom. (For those of you not in the know, my mom is also a Nancy.) Always great to see such love and to know that my bad 80s photos are not alone.

  3. Awwww, your mom seems like an awesome lady, and you 2 are so adorable! My smokin' hot 58-year-old parents will have you know that 50 is TOTALLY not old at all, and that you can get wicked awesome deals on breakfast with that AARP card!

  4. Beautiful post for a beautiful lady! She is lovely looking, and you look gorgeous in your wedding gown.

  5. Great post!!! The pictures are awesome. I want to give my Mom a hug now.