Saturday, October 30, 2010

Saturday Morning Funnies on Saturday Night

Desperate Housewives: Okay, so I usually don’t tell anyone that I watch this show because well, it’s Desperate Housewives.  The truth is that I have never missed an episode--even during the awkward seasons 4-6 when the writing just got ridiculous.  I mean, the writing is still ridiculous, but I decided to come out of my DH closet because I’ve really started loving/hating some of the characters again.  I’m so glad that Bree is finally getting laid, and who better to do it than Brian Austin Green?  So glad to see Paul Young back on the scene in all his creepy glory.  And the best thing about this season has got to be the addition of Vanessa Williams’ character, Renee Perry, for two reasons: 1) it’s great to finally see some color on Wisteria Lane (that is not related to murder), and 2) it makes the mourning over the loss of Ugly Betty a little less severe.  So that’s it.  I like Desperate Housewives.  There.  I said it.  No take backs.

Brothers and Sisters: So, I’ve been bad-mouthing B&S the last couple of weeks because the writers were simply off their game--it was like the writers from Desperate Housewives took the reins this season.  Anyway, this week’s show is starting to draw me back, mainly because we’re getting away from the RIDICULOUS Holly Harper drama and getting the stuff we love--monologues from the best ever Mama Bear, Nora Walker.  So, Nora’s got a gig at a radio station, and her children end up calling in to boost her ratings.  Justin, Kitty, Kevin--they are all going through some pretty tough shit right now--a divorce, a dead husband, and the inability to conceive, and this other more famous woman on the show keeps adding her two cents.  This is what Nora has to say to her and all of them:
“...statistics can’t hold your hand at night or share a cup of coffee with you in the morning.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to lose a husband?  Well, I do, and  so I know...listen, you’re grieving.  Not only for the husband you lost but for the life you had envisioned.  You’re grieving for the future and all the plans and dreams you had in your head.  Now that’s all gone.  There’s a wonderful saying.  You have to give up the life you’ve planned to find the life that’s waiting for you...all our lives, we grow by giving up things, by loss and moving on, big things, little ones.  How we handle those losses really defines who we are.  Where are you now?”
“I’m at my mom’s house.”
“Great, great.  That’s a really good idea.  But listen, you don’t really need her to tell you what to do.  All you need from her is just to listen.  That’s all.  A place where you can talk out loud, where you can think.  What you think, not her.  You’ll know what to do and what not to do.  And you’ll know when it’s time to move on.  And to the gentleman who called in earlier with the ‘womb envy?’  What the hell is that anyway?  You don’t want a womb!  You want a child.  You tried and it didn’t work out, and that loss, or disappointment as you put it, is just as real as Katherine’s, so is the grief and sadness, and if you don’t acknowledge it and feel it, it will never get out of the way.  Unacknowledged feelings are like a drunken cousin at a family reunion.  They never shut up, so you can hear anyone else, and you have to be able to hear what’s next in your life, what path you might want to travel down with or without children.  You have to be able to see what’s right there, right there, right in front of your eyes.”
That’s the Mama Bear I was missing!  I hope we can get all these disjointed stories pulled together, so the Walkers can have some more family dinners and scream at each other.  Oh, and I agree with my friend, Misti--there is never going to come a time when I think Sarah, Plain and Tall, belongs with a French painter/model.  Get rid of him...which is apparently never going to happen after this last episode.

Glee: So, we have all been waiting for the Rocky Horror Glee Show, and they certainly delivered.  Interestingly enough, the Glee cast has been in the news for taking sexually charged pictures in GQ the same week that they decided to do Rocky Horror.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Now, if you’ve never seen a live show of RH or even the Rocky Horror Picture Show (the movie) from 1975, you probably felt as lost as Finn:
Finn: I have no idea what’s going on in this script, and not in a cool Inception kind of way.
But have no fear, even after seeing the show a million times, I’m not even sure what it’s about.  All I know is it’s lots of sexy transgendered fun with catchy, absurd songs.  It did, after all, begin it’s claim to fame in the age of Grease and other equally ridiculous musicals that sixth-grade girls across the world can sing from start to finish.  A couple of neato things to note:
  1. We get cameos from Barry Bostwick and Meat Loaf, who played Brad and Eddie, respectively in the movie.
  2. The role of Frank-n-Furter is played by Mercedes, playing to the best of theatre tricks with the cast playing a joke on the gender-bending musical by bending the gender back in the other direction.  Amber Riley’s version of “Sweet Tranvestite” was the highlight of the show for me.  That, and Finn walking down the hall in his undies.
And here are a couple more ha ha lines:
Sue: Thanks, Rod.  You know, Halloween is fast approaching, the day when parents encourage little boys to dress like girls and little girls to dress like whores and go door-to-door brow-beating hard-working Americans into giving them free food.  Well, you know what, Western Ohio?  We’ve lost the true meaning of Halloween.  Fear.  Halloween is that magical day of the year when a child is told their grandmother’s a demon who has been feeding them rat casserole with a crunchy garnish of their own scabs.  Children must know fear.  Without it, they won’t know how to behave.  They’ll try frenching grizzly bears and consider living in Florida.  So, moms, skip trick-or-treating this year, and instead, sit your little toddler down and explain that Daddy’s a hungry zombie, and before he went out to sharpen his pitchfork, he whispered to Mommy that you look delicious.  And that’s how Sue Sees it.
Sam (dressed as the creature): Um, also, Ms. Pillsbury, is there a way I could, wear, like, some gold board shorts or something?  These are really short.  I’m afraid I’m going to show off some nuttage.
Finn: Wait, since I said I’m uncomfortable in the tighty whities, does that mean I’m going to get replaced?
Sam: No, you don’t have to worry about that.  The Brad part isn’t about looking hot.  It’s about being confident in who you are and how you look, no matter how douchy you are.  That guy's totally cool with being uncool.
Finn: Yeah, I’m definitely not there.  I actually started showering with my shirt on.
Sam: Look, stop knocking yourself out here.  Just be you, and the sexy will flow through.
And props to the writers for figuring out a way to get Rocky Horror onto the show in the first place because clearly, most high schools in America would NEVER even consider it.

Friday Night Lights: Okay, so we switched to Directv about a year ago because Time Warner was being screwy, and although I hate that we lose service in storms sometimes, I am so glad we did it if only for the fact that I get to watch Friday Night Lights.  (I don’t understand all that cable rights mumbo jumbo, but it’s really freaking stupid.)  I know a lot of people who are like, “Oh, I’ve never watched it.  I’m not that into football,” to which I always respond, “It’s not about the football.”  If you’ve never seen FNL, get a Netflix membership and get caught up.  It’s totally worth the $8.99/month. Four things from this episode that rocked my socks off:
  1. Coach Taylor is still my hero, and Tami Taylor is the hottest mom on TV.  I have to pick my husband’s jaw up off the floor every time she walks onto the screen, which is actually preferable to his being attracted to Julie, I guess.  She’s pretty hot, too.
  2. It seems like Landry gained a little weight since last season, which makes his geekiness just a teeny bit sexier.
  3. The scenes when Coach Taylor gets all misty-eyed and nostalgic about his family and then when Landry visits Matt Saracen’s grandma before leaving for college are the reasons I watch this show--so, so real.
  4. We’ve got a new character--Hastings Ruckle, a hippie who thinks “football is stupid” and brings out the worst of American society.  Whatever, hippie.  You still look hot in those pants, and I’ll forgive you for rocking the skull cap like some hipster hondo because you helped the Lions pull down a W.
I do feel a little bit creepy lusting after all these high school football players, but I get over it pretty quickly when I realize they’re actually 28 in real life.  I also get angry when I think about the fact that this is the last season.  I’ll just have to watch them over and over on Netflix, I guess.
I ran out of time to write about everything I watched this week AGAIN (why must life get in the way of my TV watching?), but here are a few other shows that were on top of their game: Modern Family (Claire is my Halloween mom hero!), The Office (MacGruber!), Parenthood (the scene between Julia and Joel was HEARTBREAKING), and The Good Wife (power to car-bashing women everywhere--even if it was Jason Street’s car [sorry for the FNL reference, but Scott Porter will forever be my favorite wheelchair-bound hottie]).  I’d like to think life is going to slow down enough for me to truly enjoy TV blogging, but the holidays are not exactly the time when I get to be lazy.  One day I hope to do nothing but wear pajamas and eat chocolate-covered almonds in my favorite chair with only my red blanket and remote to keep me company.  A girl can dream, right?

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