You know how they always ask for your biggest flaw in interviews? Well, I’m as smart as the next person and give a standard sounds-like-a-bad-thing-but-is-really-a-good-thing answer...you know-- “I’m a perfectionist! Can’t do anything until I’ve done my best!” But here’s the deal. My biggest (personality) flaw is that I judge, judge, judge, judge, judge. Everything and everyone.
I’ve tried several ways of fixing this problem:
- Prayer: As a good evangelical Christian girl, I’ve spent hours on my knees asking God to take that part of me away. It goes something like this, “Dear God, please help me to not judge J for all the incredibly stupid things that come out of his mouth.” God doesn’t ever say anything back to me about this.
- Self-analysis: I try to say, “What would Leia do?” because I’m well-aware that I’m just as capable of being stupid as the next person. This is almost always counterproductive.
- Replacement Therapy: I don’t think this is a real thing, but it’s something I made up to remind myself to fix this problem. When I’m thinking a judgy thing, I try to replace it with a nice thought. Here’s an example: Judgy thought=someone needs to introduce her to thongs if she’s going to try to pull off white pants! Good thought=I don’t see even the slightest bit of cellulite on her thighs through those white pants!
- Being transparent/honest: this never turns out well. People either get their feelings hurt, and they get really, really pissed.
So, here’s the deal. I’m sorry that I’m judgy, but it’s me, and although I’m working on it, it’s an awful uphill battle (it’s that old dog, new tricks thing). Today was a bad day for judgy Leia. Because all my judgements were reserved for people I don’t know, I’m going to share some of my mean girl thoughts to get them off my chest. It’s blog therapy, which everyone knows is why you start a blog in the first place.
Okay, here goes:
- If your three-year-old weighs 90 pounds, you are a bad parent.
- If you are a grown man with greasy hair, dirty jeans, and self-darkening glasses, don’t look shocked when I steer my children away from you. You are gross, and I’m not taking any chances, pedophilesque man.
- If you are wearing false eyelashes while grocery shopping, get over yourself. Those false eyelashes are NOT long enough to cover your ugly face. (And let me introduce you to something called a thong while I’m at it.)
- If you are driving with the windows up and smoking while your children sit in the backseat, you are a bad parent. (A LOT of my judgy-judging relates to parenting these days.)
- If you tell me “I haven’t read a book in years!” what I really hear is “I’m a moron!”
And that’s just from today. Thanks for letting me share.